hi mum & dad. i hope you're touched i'm making this post for you. i am here. blogging,crying my eyes out and doing the chores that you told me to. yesterday afternoon dad, you flare up at me for no obvious reason. you got pissed and wanted to throw chairs at me, you didn't though. when i got home, i purposely didn't follow curfew because you said i won't be able to go out no more. than you forced me to cut my nails like i'm a kid. you were gonna hit me if i didn't, am i right? you said "nails will grow" but when it grows you'll force me to cut again am i right? i cried not because of the nails. i cried because i hate you so much, how come i couldn't do anything! i want you to know that i am in control of my own life, NOT YOU. than you pretend like everything's normal again. i'm sorry i don't work that way. its too much & its been going on for too long.

and mum, you're always treating me like shit than suddenly you'll be so nice to me. you always agree with dad and you're always forcing me to do things that i don't want. you're saying i'm lazy and that i'm useless? if i am so, why did you ask me to do the chores? if i am, why did you ask me to help out at that stupid shop and now you say you're not paying me? what is wrong with this family? i am really sorry i am not smart as my sister or i don't obey your rules like she does or that i am rude and arrogant towards you. i am not sorry if you don't want me anymore since i am sucha burden to you. i will willingly leave. i dunno where i'll stay but i'll find my way. guess you regret having me don't you? when i was younger i thought i was adopted i swear. but i am your child alright. but you don't like me and i don't care, i never did. i got used to it. i woke up in the morning just to get yelled at? i hate this place. the day i turn 21, i'll pack my bag and leave, thats what you want right? you want me to get out of your life, you're always saying shits like that.

so i am a worthless child indeed. i always try to please you, but i guess i can't. and i don't wanna try anymore. i'm 17. i'm not a kid anymore. i've got my own brains to think and i can make my own mind up. if i got to poly no way in hell i wanna follow what you ask me to take because its my life, its not yours. once again, i'm sorry i always rebel i do that because nobody listen. you never listen. you just get angry and say loathesome things to me. do you think i've got no feelings? do you think i'm hard as stone? i'm not. i hate the way you treat me like i can't voice out in this place. this shithole is a living hell. i hate it and i wanna get out.