These days are shit. i hate school, i hate my life and i hate everything. its been
so awful sometimes. but i have great friends and i love it that they are there all
the time. I love it that they understand me. I love it that they make my days worthwhile.sometimes i wonder, why do i get upset about some people who really don't care about how i feel. Sometimes, i feel, that people find it way hard to relate to me & i hate that because it is never hard to relate to me. I think. I wish i was happier, but, i must me grateful, but sometimes, it gets hard. Sometimes its so hard. And i hate it when i get angry, when i am angry,i can't think straight, and the only way to really throw it out is cry. I hate crying. crying hurts.
your eyes feels tight and your nose gets runny, you need tissue and when you cry
you look like crap, i look like crap. I just hate it. and school is really bullshit. I really hate school.i used to love it like a lot, but now i hate it so much. i dread it. my class is shit and i get so tired of the same damn crap. Well, the story of my life. maybe i should be more grateful than maybe
great things will happen huh. :)

There is happy things actually. Esther just simply make my day and i love chatting with her.she just understands me so well, and when we chat, i always feel i'm not here. i alwaysfeel i am somewhere else and that soothes me somehow, how can someone so far away makesme feel better but some people so near can only hurt you? its not ridiculous. it happens.i feel like myself when i talk to my friends overseas. its just that,sometimes we're so alike,we actually forget we're so far apart. life is unfair huh. they give you a shit life but they alsogive you a great life, just that they're so far away. Esther and i said goodbye today, and julia is off to CA tomorrow while Sam is off to berlin tomorrow :(.and the sweetest thing was, esther
said how sorry she was not being able to celebrate my birthday "together". oh wells, she makes my day. :) i'm sorry i am bragging about them, but don't you just feel happy talking about people who makes YOU happy. :D I do have friends in here who does make me happy too!HAHA.

let me list it down, its not a lot, but hey, at least there's something.
Suhanah, Michelle,Sarah,Jessie,Genie. My girlfriends. I LOVE YOU GUYS.

well, see, my life is NOT so bad afterall huh. :D well, i do feel leftout at times and i feel hurt and jealous, but in friendship, there's no room for jealousy. So, why do i feel jealous at times?i can't keep blaming people right, maybe its just me. But why don't i feel it with Suhanah, or Esther? Ridiculous. But never mind. this will end soon. I have like what, 3 months to finish o's and then, i'm off. If we're meant to stay friends we will, if we're not, than, thanks for the memories. Thats liefe right, we meet, we break up, we meet other people. Life's a cycle.
Some will stay your greatest friend you can never meet, ever again. :D
i feel much better now. I love god.i love my girlfriends. i love my blog. LOL. & i love tokio hotel. :D

good night all! :D