the list of things that i love.
i love it when no one's at home & i can just pretend, its my own place, i can do my own thing,
all day. when no one's at home, all hell break lose. (:
i like to just sit down and day dream. i love to tell myself, "i am not staying here. i am not
going to see these people anymore", because, i know, i will not be here. even if i don't have
the money or the education, i will make this dream come true. i love it when i am myself, when
i don't have to pretend i am someone else, where i can just be, me. i love it when people relates
to me, its fun to have someone like that around. i love it when the songs i listen to relates to me somehow or just make me feel better, i love it when the songs has a special meaning to it. i love
it when i have a girlfriend i can say everything & anything with.i love it that i take tokio hotel as my inspiration,they are just so, original, so different.maybe people think they're shit,but who cares because i like them, this is MY life story,not yours.i have the rights to like whoever i want, to pick whoever as my inspiration, even if its impossible to believe in them or to even think we'll meet, but, hey, it gives me strength, and thats just the way i like it. (: i love life just the way it is, though, it is a bitch. though i hate changes, though i feel down so many times in so many weeks, its just how its suppose to be lived. if everyone was happy all the damn time, wouldn't life be so mundane? well, a little stress is never bad, and a little shit, is always something good. everything must happen for a reason, you might not know it, realise it or feel it, but, you will someday.
everything in life is a lesson, its up to you whether you want to take it or not.

& all the things that i hate.
i hate it when i feel angry, like, really angry, grumpy. i hate it when its so noisy,be it my mum nagging, my friends, or anyone making me feel worse when i am angry, then i have to shut everyone up. i hate being angry, i just can't stop it. i hate it when i feel hurt. i hate it cuz i am too emotional or maybe sensitive, but sometimes, you're not, its just that some people don't care at all. i feel hurt a hell lot, you know, when you say, you feel so hurt, and there's so many scars, in your heart? i always imagine if there's really scars and if you can see them, will you get shocked?
whatever, its not gonna happen. i hate life too, and i hate changes, but, not all changes are bad. sometimes when i see you staring at me, i feel like saying, "screw you dumbfuck." but looking at you makes me mad, and if you want to continue staring, thats your problem, but you don't exist to me in anyway, so, cursing you, is a waste of my breathe, and i really do not want to curse, and, its your problem, so, seriously, screw yourself. i hate it, when i get panic attacks, like, "omg, i am going to fail o's" or "i am not going to see new york" or " i will not be able to see summer, autumn, spring & winter." or " my life will not be fun as how i expect it". i hate having that. because i really want that. easier said than done. i hate it when i don't believe in myself, believing is very important.
i just feel like writing my thoughts down, and if you think its bullshit, don't read it.

so, that's it yeah. i have said too much. (: i love tokio hotel, i love their songs. i know they are awesome, i know their fans are awesome (ahem!) & i know, i can feel it, i know i will meet them, even if my parents stop me. fans are amazing yes? million & millions line up for them, to see them, and they're always there to support them. the first to buy their cds, believes in them even when others don't, singing their songs words to words, and, never fail to be there for every concert, every autograph session, just anything and everything. i hope they'll be way famous, and i wish, pray and hope, they won't turn cocky, i want them to stay the same, to be the friendly bands who worships their fans. tokio hotel, is taking the world by storm! woooohooo!
Tokio Hotel all they way!

good night and have an amazing day ahead. (;
remember, everything is possible if you just believe, and with a little bit of hardwork. (;
all the best!