so, this is it yeahhh. i can't believe myself at first. it was shocking that i didn't
drop and cry myself to sleep. i just know its all dried up. i don't care, how many people
give me the stares. i don't care how many people know. this is just a phase in my life.
in our lives. people come and go & sometimes, true friends stay for a lifetime.

all these years, i think i haven't kept that secret well enough.
this awkward situations. those days when you made me smile. ear to ear.
i'd never forget it. or even the way your eyes give away when you're so happy.
or how i think its sweet that your lips turn rosy red on certain mornings. or how
your presence makes my heart beats a thousand times faster. or how i think of you as
my hero. some nights, years back when i cried on the phone with you because of the
pressure i was getting at home. or that one sunday you got up early & talked to me till
i reached my religious class. or even the day when you "picked me up" from religious
class to ask for your ipod back. or how much i cried when you were leaving for a holiday!
haha, that was... so dumb. or those random hugs i used to give you. & the way you just let me
take photos with you ( more than hundreds i swear!) no matter how much you hated it.
when you took the time to reply my letters, listen to my complains, go out with me,
& cheer me up. or the day when i was sooooooooo into emo shits and i transformed you into
an emo boy. HAHA. and also when i couldnt keep my mouth shut when we're canoeing!
its more than just the feelings i have for you, but it was also because of the friendship we had.
but then, things changed, & we just won't stop quarreling. we started to grow apart. i wish
i should have told you how i felt earlier, i wish you would have told me how unhappy you were
too, but what for regret now. its done. i don't think you understand, but i was hurt, and it feels
all raw. like a new scar then overlaps all the other scars. some part of me wanted you back that
time, and i was willing to do anything, but i think, & i thank you, for whatever you told me.
because whatever you said that night, really, finally got me thinking....

if i keep going on, i just won't stop. but i want to tell you, all these years, its been great i tell you.
even the first major quarrels we had, i won't forget that. i won't forget you. of course i will miss you, think i'm gonna die without you by my side, but i myself know i am being a bit melo-dramatic here. but yes, the memory of us will always linger.... i hope you don't forget me too.
that's all i ask for. i hold no grudges, but i hope this post can make you smile. (:
someday, somehow, we'll hang out again.

& whatever was left are just memories. & whatever we had was just hisory. & whatever i feel about you all these years, its not meant
for you to know and it'll stay that way.