today i keep listening to "hey there delilah".its a sad song eh?anyways, i am so tired but i don't wanna sleep yet. tomorrow i am gonna complain all day. because i have to go religious class. +.+ but i like it.i like my friends there. we need to go out one day! :D i feel so malay-ish. haha.
like very english on weekdays & part time malay on weekends. LOL.
and i sooooooooo hate f&n. ): i really do. i hate coursework. i regrettttt taking it. ):

& today i feel rather toooo emotional. idk why. it just come, & it didn't wanna
leave. i am afraid? yeah. i think i am. sound so weird coming from me.
i really don't wanna be 17. i don't wanna grow up. i just want to rewind and stop.
but sometimes i wish it'd move, but i wish i can pause it too. everything's moving
so fast. i could remember everything so clearly when i was younger. suddenly
i am 10 years older. suddenly, i just grew up. suddenly i have to make my own
decisions. its all so... sudden? i miss being young. i miss being a kid. so young.
so freeeee. i still remember in kindergarten, i love being there. every minute of it.
and my very good friend was my neighbour. we stopped talking though. he was in
my primary school, but i don't know why we don't talk no more. ): i remember the
bond of my mum & me. i remember asking her a more than a million times if i'd grow
up, if i'd go to primary school. i remembered when i went to primary 1. i remembered
when my mum sent me to school & i didn't cry like those other kids. i remember getting
into fights & getting pushed down, & i remembered i got a bruise on my left eye, a cut on
my lips, & smth wrong with my arm. i remembered getting my first best friend. who left
me when i turned 9. she moved & we stopped talking. my second best friend left a year
later, & she turned into a totally different person. i remembered everything so clearly.
i wanna stay young forever.

but if i just rewind everything, then i wouldn't have met people like jessie & whye keat.
i wouldnt have new friends & i'd know very little about the current life right?
apparently life sucks & its not the first time i'm admitting it.

i hate saying goodbye. ):
so yeah. i think i should stop, this post is bullshit. but i just feel this way.
very emotional, very scared, very... young & not prepared? yeah.
good night all.

& you promised me, you said " best friends are forever".