Hello. I went out with my mum today. Got so exhausted. I went to geylang market. And its so irritating. People bring huge trolleys. HELLO, IT’S CROWDED AND PEOPLE NEEDS TO WALK! So yeah I got super piss I tell you. And people give you that kind of fuck face. I don’t even know why which is more irritating. -.- then my mum went fish mad. Lol. you should actually see how many kg of fish she bought. Lol. Then we went to buy some more things and then we decided to take a cab. The things was so freaking heavy and I swear I couldn’t carry all by myself, and my mum had muscles cramp. I feel bad, she works so very hard and I give her horrible results, I promise to do better. I didn’t know mugging was so hard. I hate it. And I seriously, can’t. Its so hard. My mum and me bonded and I’m happy. Gossip queen is my mum. :D lol.

I feel happy outside and inside but somehow I feel hurt at the same time. I’m so sick and tired of getting thi feeling over and over again. I can’t push it off and he won’t go away. How do you stop yourself from liking someone? Or how do you stop yourself from thinking about it? I feel so sick about it when I think about it. Why is it so unfair? Why? I asked myself over and over, why am I not an existence to him? I can see my imperfections, I do and I can’t make it go in a sec. It takes time and commitment and it takes time, whatever it is, I’ll try. It hurts to know he doesn’t care right. And it hurts to know he doesn’t know you exist. It hurts to see him so happy with other people but not with you. It hurts to know that you can see him but you can’t touch him. It hurts to know that you can feel him but not have him. It hurts to know the awful truth because truth hurts more than a lie. It hurts to know that whatever you do, it’s never gonna happen, but it hurts more to try your hardest but not being able to make it. It hurts to try your best but he’s never gonna find out. It hurt to see him sad but it feels worst when you’re sad and he doesn’t even know you, do you even think he knows you’re crying over him? He means the whole world, I swear, but this time, even miracles won’t work.

My heart may break a thousand times, but you wouldn’t notice it.
My tears may drop a million times, but you wouldn’t see it.
I wish I could at least say something but my heart beats a thousand time faster
When you’re around and my brain freezes and my pulse stops.
When can you finally see how much you mean to me?

I want you. And only you. Period.