“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.
It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.
As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”
Your thoughts have taken their toll
Siti. 18. I express my emotions through my words.
trapped in my own shadows.
Thursday, November 12, 2009 @ 9:00 AM
why did i even think it will make any difference? just because i,m 18, gheez.. i thought it will be different this time around. i deserve this holiday. i have worked so hard! i gave it my best and this time around, i deserve it. but you. you don't understand. the whole lot of you. how? why are you giving such ridiculous limitations? i don't wanna be trapped here. i'm not a bird in a cage, i wanna go out, meet my friends,hang out, have fun.
but you just don't understand. ever. i hate you. you are always saying its me. i'm the problem. but can't you see? i am not. you are.
i am sick and tired of crying myself to sleep. its been a long long time since that happen. but now.. now its back to square one. where i have nowhere to go. just trapped here. again.
goodbye.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009 @ 11:49 PM
my last paper is tomorrow. my last paper is tomorrow. haha. i have to pinch my oh so thick skin over and over to remind myself that. i am not going to chong pang anymore. no more coffeeshop aunties, kopi o and so many rubbish. woah. 10 months eh. i can actually feel like i can make it this time. though math paper. math paper was a killer. and i hate talking about it,but. argh so irritating. everything finish so soon! i just think its weird. i dunno why but i just needed to express my feelings. i feel so down lately. i've been thinking way too much about everything. maybe this just happens when i don't sleep at night. and it haven happen,in a while. well, i just feel sad. haha, feel sad for all the wrong reasons. people say, nobody is dying, everything will still be the same. but then. nothing stays the same. ever. everyday,every minute, every second, things are changing. we just don't see it. we, humans, we always don't see. we hardly open our eyes to look. sighhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. well, this is me, typing down a whole junk of rubbish that is called, my feelings. yada yada.. whats new. anyways, i think i better stop now. its a cold,cold night. sleep well. :)
what am i to do?
Thursday, October 01, 2009 @ 12:11 AM
o's is in 19 days. and i am so tired. and i find it even harder to concentrate now. sigh. what to do? i am so scared. i can't fail. i just can't.
mug.mug.mug.mug.mug.mug.mug.mug.mug.mug.mug.mug.
i wish there is something i can do.
Thursday, September 10, 2009 @ 10:02 PM
somethings i just cannot understand. and one of them is you. and i wish, i could know you better. these are the kind of things i cannot control. i feel so obsessed with you. and whatever i am talking about, it will always come back to you. i just have to be myself. * rolls eye. if it was so easy then i wouldn't be sitting here having the same thought i have of you since i-don't-know-when. okay, i know i have to accept whatever advice, but, cannot! i am, annoying,irritating and LOUD. like that isn't enough to make someone back off from me. and sometimes i find myself asking the same thing over and over again. how long will this crush last? will it fade? i don't want it to fade. but why? sometimes, somethings are meant to be left alone and just to go with the flow. and maybe that is what i have to do. good day.
spoiled brat.
Tuesday, September 01, 2009 @ 9:04 AM
why do we always complain about things that we don't have?
why do we go on and on 'bout something we can never have?
our lives are so blessed in every single way,but we are never thankful. and
we never,ever realised it.
all we do is whine and complain about how 'unfair' life is.
why can't we just open up our pretty eyes and see that, we've got enough
food & water,we've got shelter,we've got enough love from people around us.
what more do we need? just because you're not as rich as someone else
doesn't have to make you feel sad.just because you're not smart as someone
else doesn't make you stupid. just because someone you love don't love you back,
that doesn't mean you're not loved by others. like the saying goes, "if you love someone,let them go. & if the come back, they have always been yours. but if they don't,they never were."
life is amazing,sometimes you feel down,sometimes you feel so great.
but thats just how it is.whatever that comes up must come down.
the world is beautiful,just looking at the sun,the star,the moon,the
sea..makes me feel so at ease. the littlest things in life are the things that matters
a lot actually. so,stop whining and live your life,because you'll
never know when you'll leave this beautiful place forever.
sorry.
Thursday, August 27, 2009 @ 5:33 PM
i always know i have so much to say.but when i click create,whatever i wanted to type..just vanish. so i will stare at the blank screen for minutes just to figure out what to type. there is just one thing i need to say for now. i didn't ask for it to happen..it just did. thats how my feelings are.maybe you should realise it,the more you keep pushing your luck,the more i will back away from you.then again,how can i feel anything for you when i gave my heart away to someone else?
my friend...
Thursday, August 13, 2009 @ 8:29 PM
all those years when you were there for me, i never did thank you enough did i? because i express my gratitude through my actions. because i wanted to share my teenage years with my friends and you were one of the special ones, because i knew you'd be there to save me, no matter what. but... things don't always go as we plan & when we plan, things always changes. and nobody can stop changes. i still cannot find an explanation for this drastic change. its like, you're no longer you anymore. where have you hide yourself? where was that jovial person? where was that person who'd talk to me till the wee hours of the morning? where was the person who'd wipe my tears and share secrets with me? like how i'll share my thought,feelings,secrets,days with? doesn't our friendship matters to you? we went wayyyyyy back. didn't you remember? i would always have been there if you needed me. always will be there. but... you just pushed me aside. like i didn't matter to you anymore,like, i am merely nothing. like i am of no use. why? i miss you. i miss my friend, my friend that has been with me through out my secondary years, my friend whom listens to all my cries,my friend who never stop believing in true love..no matter what happened. is this what love does? it shuts your eyes and your heart for others but only saves it for your lover? if this is what love do, then i do not want it. i do not want to leave the people i love for the one person who loves me. i dunno why, but my mind will randomly wandered to you. thoughts of you. my care and concern were just ignored... am i that unimportant to you right now? i only want the best for you. i wouldn't want anything bad to befall you. like how you didn't want anything to befall me, once upon a time. i want us to strive together, i want us to prove to others and ourself that we are capable of all this. but... it seems like i have to go on with this journey myself.. without you. i miss you so much. i just want things to go back to how it used to be..but i know that is not possible. sigh.
